I am so glad you agreed to come over to my house today for a visit. I have something very important to discuss with you. Your Step-Mom and I were talking about what a transformation you have made this last year from such a homebody nerd to quite the hunk on campus. I know you spent the majority of your youth alone in your bedroom practically glued to your computer. I also know what young men do in their room with so much alone time. Your Step-Mother told me about the several boxes of tissue per month you used. We all know it wasn’t for a runny nose either.