I heard you and my step-mom fighting last night and I wanted to say something important to you. It sounds like you two are getting a divorce, which is a good thing because my step-mom can be a real bitch. Like how since I am eighteen now I have to go find my own place to live. I certainly don’t want to move out and be alone so it got me thinking that I could move out and be with you! It makes perfect sense that I can step into my stepmom’s place and take care of all your needs like she did. She complained about all the things she had to do for you. I won’t complain at all. Would you like to know why I won’t complain when I take your stuff to the dry cleaners or make you dinner or clean your bathroom? I’ve had a crush on you ever since you met my step-mom. Now that I am grown up I can finally do something about all these feelings I have for you.